Twitter for Churches...Is This Necessary?

Someone just sent me a link to a book called Twitter For Churches...it basically demands that churches start Twittering. My question is: Why? Do you really need a Twitter message saying, "Don't forget! Church is on Sunday!" Or maybe friendly reminders about stuff like, "Thou Shalt Not Kill!" Other than that, why the heck does a church need to Twitter?

Maybe the pastor just loves to hear himself say the same crap over and over so much that he needs to do it via Twitter as well. "God bless you all Twitter followers!" Or maybe it's more like, "Just went to the grocery store and, wow, the cheap wine we use at communion went up 30 cents a bottle. Dag!"

Pretty...Pretty....Pretty Good (Larry David voice)

Wrong Author Credit

I just got a junk email...at least it's junk to me. It's a sales email for Christian books...just in time for father's day!! What father wants Christian books for father's day? Anyway, the first book that they are promoting is called Sin, Salvation & Shadowmancer and the blurb about it says, "This astonishing life is a story that only God could have written." Then is says that it's by: G.P. Taylor as told to: Bob Smietana.

Um, sorry, but your blurb says it's a story that "only God could have written." So, how the hell did G.P. Taylor and Bob Smietana write this story? I'm confused. Are they saying that G.P. and Bob ARE God? C'mon people. If you are going to make giant claims about God writing a book, at least get your story straight when you write the email. Just another case of dumb Christians overstating their false claims to trick people into giving them money. Or is it? Dun dun dun!

OH JESUS!

Christians have an opinion about everything!

This week christian bloggers are rallying together to decided who the righteous one is in the American Idol finals.

It is down to two people: Kris Allen & Adam Lambert

...but one is more gay and less christian than the other...

Opinions are flying and of course the red states/christians are for the god loving S.O.B., Kris Allen

But, hopefully this show is still based on talent with all political views set aside.

Jesus loves all kinds of people and predicts a GAY win!

YEAHHH - Gay Hands in the Air! Wave them like your just don't care! WHAT! WHAT!

HOW OLD IS THE EARTH?

Yet another fossil proves the earth is older than 6000 years! According to scientists, the 47-million-year-old fossil is an ancient "small cat"-sized primate and is a possible common ancestor of monkeys, primates and humans! The fossil was originally discovered in 1983 in the Messel Pit, Germany, near Frankfurt, and had been until recently in private collections, according to an article published Tuesday in the scientific journal PLoS ONE.

Scientists say the fossil, dubbed "Ida," is a transitional species, living around the time the primate lineage split into two groups: A line that would eventually produce humans, primates and monkeys, and another that would give rise to lemurs and other primates.

Apparently evolution is REAL...

And it explains this tail problem...


Meanwhile, Christians still look to the Bible (manmade) which indicates that the earth's age is only about 6000 years....

So you do the math!

Can't You Just Be Nice to People?

I saw an ad on Craig's List for some guy looking for an old Mac connector thing you used to have to use to hook up a microphone. I just happen to have one and don't need, so I emailed him back and said he just have it for free if he would come and get it. Just being a nice guy.

So, he shows up at my ofice and he was kind of weird, but he said thanks very much, then he pulled out a folder with a high quality print out of Jesus and said he wanted to give me "this high quality Giclee print as a thank you."

I almost asked for the connector back. Can you just not do a favor for someone without being attacked by Jesus? Answer: no.

Got To Hip Jesus Up

Where are all of these bizarre "hip" churches coming from? I guess in a way I get it...you have to trick people into thinking Jesus is cool and hip and hanging out at church is way more fun than what the real message of the church is. They all have rock bands and cool youth ministers with faux-hawks and goatees. And really...it's okay to wear jeans and a t-shirt to our church...CRAZY! What's really odd to me are the names they come up with...no more Emmanual Baptist Church or Second Avenue Methodist Church. No, no. It's got to be a cool marketing gimmick. Names like G.U.T.S. and one near my house, "The Movement." It all starts to sound like a cult, and I'm sure it probably verges on one when it comes down the the real definition. A friend of mine told me about G.U.T.S., which is in Tulsa, OK. She said that she would see these big red industrial letters as she drove by and thought it was some kind of trucking company. Nope. It's just Jesus.

When I checked out the G.U.T.S. website, the first thing I noticed was that you can follow them on Facebook and Twitter and read Pastor Sandy's blog and some other pastor's blog and all those other social networking sites that Jesus is fond of. On one of the blogs the post said, "I'm pretty convinced that people who don't know God are looking for those who profess to." Well, I can answer that one. Nope. Don't be so full of yourself that you think the rest of us care about your dreamworld. And by the way, after reading more of what Pastor Bill posts, he needs a copy editor. Would you really trust your life (and afterlife) to someone who can't write intelligible sentences?

I really need to come with a hip name and start a cult. It's just too easy. People will believe anything and pay good money to keep it going.
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Turning Jesus On?!

Jesus looks a little too happy with these kids...

Here's a Tasty Treat!

Thanks Apostle Z!

He Ain't Comin' Back

I don't even know what to say about this...I'll just copy and paste the story for you...

A Baltimore mother accused of being part of a cult pleaded guilty Monday to starving her baby to death.Prosecutors claimed during the trial of Ria Ramkissoon that her 16-month-old son, Javon Thompson, was denied food and water because he stopped saying amen at meal times and had a rebellious spirit. He later died. Ramkissoon, 22, admitted her guilt in one of the strangest plea agreements reached in a Maryland court, 11 News reporter Barry Simms said.

Under the plea agreement, Ramkissoon would get 20 years behind bars with a judge suspending all but time served. She must also undergo treatment, including the process of deprogramming and five years of probation. But the plea agreement also included that the murder charges against her be dropped if her son was resurrected.

The child did not rise from the dead [editor's note: SUPRISE!], so Ramkissoon pleaded guilty to child abuse resulting in death and agreed to cooperate with prosecutors in testifying against the other four members of the organization, all of whom have been charged with murder.

Ramkissoon was part of One Mind Ministries. Court charging documents showed members of the religious group and their leader, 40-year-old Queen Antoinette -- also known as Toni Sloan -- prayed for the child to rise again.After about a week, the body was wrapped in a blanket and put in a wheeled suitcase with mothballs, and group members moved from Baltimore to Philadelphia, taking the suitcase with them.